Why Respect for Authority Matters More Than Ever
In today’s world, many people have forgotten what it means to respect those placed in leadership over them. Children often disrespect their parents. Wives speak poorly of their husbands. Lay Catholics criticize priests, bishops, and even the pope. Citizens show disdain for civil leaders and disregard the law. Yet these very forms of honor and obedience are essential signs of our love for God.
Jesus says clearly, as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew, “This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” (Matt 15:8). If we truly love God, our lives must reflect it. That reflection shows in our obedience and respect for the lawful authorities He has placed over us.
In this article, I want to speak to fellow Catholic women from the heart. I want to explain why obedience and honor are not signs of weakness, but signs of holiness. They are not outdated customs, but divine commands. And as women, wives, and mothers, we are called not only to live this truth but to teach it to our children.
God Himself Established the Order of Authority
Let us begin with the truth that authority is not a human invention. St. Paul teaches in his Letter to the Romans, “There is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been established by God” (Rom 13:1). God has created a world of order. That order includes a hierarchy, from heaven down to earth.
In the Summa Theologica, St. Thomas Aquinas explains that just as God governs the universe, so He delegates certain kinds of rule to others. Parents govern their children, husbands guide their wives, pastors lead their flocks, and civil rulers govern their people. These are not just social customs. They are part of God’s wise plan.
Therefore, to reject legitimate authority is to reject the God who gave it. That is why obedience is a moral duty. It is not blind, but it is faithful. And it is never a matter of personal preference.
Obedience to Earthly Authority is a Sign of Our Obedience to God
The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that the Fourth Commandment is about more than honoring your father and mother. It extends to all those whom God has vested with authority. This includes teachers, employers, priests, bishops, the pope, and civil officials (CCC 2197-2200).
Most importantly, when we teach our children to obey their parents, we are laying the foundation for their respect toward all other forms of authority. A child who does not learn to obey his mother or father will not grow into an adult who respects police officers, teachers, or Church leaders.
When a wife models respect for her husband, she teaches her children that order is good. She reveals, in a simple and beautiful way, the structure God intends for the family. This respect does not mean silence in the face of wrongdoing. It does not mean passivity. It means willingly recognizing the role that another has been given, and supporting it with love.
When We Refuse to Honor Authority, We Dishonor God
In the book of Proverbs, Solomon writes, “A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke” (Prov 13:1). Scoffing has become the spirit of the age. Sarcasm and disrespect fill social media. Children talk back to their teachers. Spouses complain about each other in public. Even Catholics tear down the Church’s leaders, publicly judging men whom they have never met.
St. Augustine warns that pride is the beginning of all sin. Pride makes us think we know better than those placed over us. It makes us quick to criticize and slow to listen. And pride makes us forget that God alone sees the whole picture.
If we cannot honor the authorities we can see, how can we say we honor the God we cannot see?
Respect for Authority Begins in the Home
The home is the first school of virtue. It is where habits are formed, for good or for ill. Mothers, we must examine our words. Do we speak respectfully of our husbands in front of the children? Do we model obedience to Church teachings? Do we complain about the government in a way that encourages rebellion instead of reform?
Our children watch everything. If they see us honoring their father, they will be more likely to honor both of us. If they hear us praying for the pope instead of criticizing him, they will learn to love the Church. And if they see us obeying rules cheerfully, they will learn that obedience is not a burden, but a blessing.
Jesus told a parable of two sons. The father asked both to work in the vineyard. One said “no” but later went. The other said “yes” but did not go (Matt 21:28-31). True honor comes not just from words, but from action. Let our homes be places where honor is lived.
Understanding the Difference Between Lawful and Unlawful Authority
Of course, not all authority is righteous. Sometimes leaders act unjustly. In these cases, St. Thomas Aquinas teaches that we are not bound to obey unlawful commands. If a law contradicts God’s law, we must follow God.
But disobedience must be rare, and never done out of pride or rebellion. Even when we must resist, we should do so with respect, like the apostles who said, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). They did not riot or curse. They obeyed God peacefully, even when it cost them their lives.
This is the model we must teach our children. We must form their conscience so they can discern right from wrong. But we must also form their hearts, so that even when they must say “no,” they say it with humility.
Honor in Marriage: Wives and Husbands in God’s Design
St. Paul writes in Ephesians, “Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord” (Eph 5:22). These words are often misunderstood. But they do not mean inferiority. They mean that in the order of the family, the husband has been given a role of leadership. And a good wife helps him fulfill that role.
When a wife supports her husband with respect and love, she strengthens their unity. She creates peace in the home. She helps him become a better man. And she teaches her children that order and harmony go together.
This obedience is mutual. Paul also says, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph 5:25). A husband who loves sacrificially makes it easier for a wife to follow joyfully. But her duty to respect him is not based on how perfect he is. It is based on the position God has given him.
The Example of the Saints and the Blessed Virgin Mary
The saints understood honor. St. Monica patiently endured her husband’s anger and disapproval without bitterness. Her example led to the conversion of both her husband and her son, St. Augustine. St. Catherine of Siena showed deep respect for the pope, even while urging reform.
But no one honored authority better than Our Lady. She obeyed St. Joseph as head of their household. She respected the law by presenting Jesus in the Temple. And most importantly, she called herself the “handmaid of the Lord” (Luke 1:38).
If the Queen of Heaven could humbly submit to earthly authority, how much more should we?
Respecting the Church and Civil Government
The Church is our spiritual mother. Her bishops and priests are her servants. They are not perfect, but they are chosen. The Catechism says that Catholics should “assume their pastors’ good will” and avoid “judging their intentions” (CCC 2478).
Most importantly, the pope is the Vicar of Christ. To speak disrespectfully of him is to dishonor the office Christ Himself established. Even when we struggle to understand his words or actions, we must pray instead of condemn.
The same applies to civil authorities. St. Peter says, “Honor everyone. Love the family of believers. Fear God. Honor the emperor” (1 Pet 2:17). The early Christians lived under pagan rulers, but they still obeyed the law when they could. They paid taxes. They lived peaceably. They honored God by honoring lawful authority.
Teaching Children to Live This Way
Our children will not learn to respect authority unless we teach them. We must train them from an early age to listen, obey, and speak kindly. We must correct disrespect firmly and consistently. And we must help them understand why honor matters.
Aesop’s fable of the bundle of sticks teaches that strength comes through unity. A family that respects authority is stronger, more peaceful, and more joyful.
Most importantly, we must show them what it looks like. Children who see their mother kneel in prayer, speak respectfully, and obey joyfully will remember that example for the rest of their lives.
Closing Thoughts: Obedience Leads to Peace
The world is full of rebellion. But the Church calls us to something higher. True freedom is found not in rejecting authority, but in embracing it rightly. When we honor those placed over us, we honor God. When we teach our children to do the same, we prepare them for a life of virtue.
Let us reclaim the lost virtue of obedience. Let us build homes where honor is the rule, not the exception. And let us follow the Blessed Virgin Mary, who showed that the greatest strength is found in the deepest humility.
Mrs. Dania C. Michael, O.P.
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Classical Liberal Arts Academy
Notes
Catechism of the Catholic Church. https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM
St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica. https://www.newadvent.org/summa/
Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics. Translated by W.D. Ross. https://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.html
Augustine, City of God and other writings. https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/
The Holy Bible, New American Bible, Revised Edition (NABRE). https://bible.usccb.org
