Let us now show who those persons are that are the objects of love and hatred, and why they are so, defining for this purpose what friendship is, and friendly love. Let therefore, friendly love be defined to be, the wish that such things as are conceived to be good may fall to the lot of some one for his own sake, and not for the sake of him who forms the wish, and also the endeavour of him who forms the wish to procure such good to the utmost of his power. But he is a friend who loves, and is reciprocally beloved; and those persons conceive themselves to be friends, who think they are thus disposed towards each other. These things, therefore, being supposed, it is necessary that a friend should be one who reciprocally rejoices in the good which befals another person, and is naturally pained when that person is aggrieved, and this not on account of any thing else, but on account of the person himself. For all men rejoice when they obtain the object of their wishes, but are aggrieved if the contrary takes place; so that pains and pleasures are an indication of good and bad wishes. Those likewise are friends to each other; to whom the same things are good and evil. And also those who are friends and enemies to the same persons and things; for these must necessarily wish the same things; so that he who wishes the same things to another as to himself, appears to be a friend to that person. Men also love those that have either benefited them, or those that are under their care; or if their kindness to them has been great, or has been cheerfully exerted, or seasonably, and for their own sake; and also such as they think, are willing to benefit others. They likewise love the friends of their friends, and those that love the same persons that they love, and who are beloved by those who are beloved by them; who are likewise enemies to those to whom they are enemies, and who hate those whom they hate, and are hated by those who are hated by them. For the same things appear to be good to all these, and to themselves; so that they wish the same good to them as to themselves; which was the definition of a friend. Farther still, men love those who are beneficent to them in pecuniary affairs, and in those things which regard their safety. Hence they honour liberal, brave, and just men; and they consider those to be such who do not live on the property of others. But men of this description are those that live by their own labour; and among these are those that live by agriculture, and of others, especially manual artificers. They also love those that are temperate, because they are not unjust; and for the same reason they love those that lead a quiet life unmolested by business. We likewise love those to whom we wish to be friends, if they appear to wish to be our friends. But men of this description are such as are good according to virtue, and are celebrated either by all men, or by the best of men, or by those who are admired by us, or by those who admire us. Farther still, men love those who are agreeable companions and with whom they can pass the day pleasantly. But men of this description are such as are ingenuous, who do not reprove the faults of others, and are not studious of contention nor morose; for all such persons are pugnacious; and those that are pugnacious appear to wish things contrary to the wishes of friends. They likewise love those that have elegant manners, and who can give and take a jest; for in both these, men strive to be facetious, as well those that are able to bear raillery, as those that are able to rail elegantly themselves. They also love those who praise the good things which they enjoy, and especially such among these as they are fearful should not be present to themselves. Likewise those who are neat in their appearance, in their dress, and in every thing pertaining to the whole of their life. Also those, who neither reprobate the faults committed by others, nor the benefits conferred on them; for both are attended with defamation. They likewise love those that neither remember injuries, nor are observers of the faults of others, but are easily reconciled. For such as they think they are towards others, they also think they will be towards themselves. They likewise love those that are not addicted to slander, and who know no evil, but only good, either of their neighbours or them. For a good man acts in this manner. Also those that do not resist them when they are angry, or seriously employed; for such like persons are pugnacious. Likewise those that are seriously disposed towards them, as for instance, such as admire them; consider them to be worthy; are delighted with them; and are especially thus affected in things in which they themselves particularly wish to be admired, or to appear to be worthy, or pleasant persons. Men also love those that resemble themselves, and are engaged in the same pursuits, provided they are no impediment to them, and their subsistence is not derived from the same profession. For thus what Hesiod says will take place viz. that the potter envies the potter. They likewise love those who desire things of which it is at the same time possible for them to be partakers; for if not, the same thing which we have just noticed will thus happen. They also love those towards whom they are so disposed as not to be ashamed of things which are base only according to opinion, and towards whom they are ashamed of things which are in reality base. And likewise those by whom they are ambitious to be honoured, or by whom they wish to be emulated, and not to be envied; for these they either love, or wish to be their friends. They likewise love those with whom they co-operate in the acquisition of some good, lest greater evil should hereafter befal themselves. And also those who similarly love their friends when absent and present; on which account all men love those who are thus disposed towards the dead. And in short, they love those who very much love their friends, and do not forsake them; for among the number of good men, they especially love those who are good in what relates to friendship. They likewise love those who do not act with dissimulation towards them; but men of this description are such as are not ashamed to speak of their own defects. For we have already observed that towards friends, we should be ashamed of things which relate to opinion, i. e. which are base in opinion only, and not in reality. If, therefore, he who is ashamed has not friendly love, he who is not ashamed will resemble one who has friendly love. Men, likewise, love those who are not the objects of fear, and in whom they can confide; for no one loves him of whom he is afraid. But the species of friendship are fellowship, familiarity, alliance, and things of the like kind. Beneficence also exerted towards another person is productive of friendship, as also are acting beneficently when it is not required, and not divulging favours when they are bestowed. For thus beneficence will appear to have been exerted for the sake of the friend, and not on any other account.
The lessons published on this site are freely available to read. If you wish to move from reading to formal study — with graded assessments, academic records, and the support of the Academy — you may enroll at any time. Enrollment is open year round, to students of all ages.
