One of the biggest problems parents have today is that they desire to provide their children’s social activity through schooling rather than appropriate social activities.
Education is about forming the intellect of individuals. The best education is that which leads a student from ignorance to wisdom. When we evaluate educational opportunities, this is all we should be thinking of: “Which option will give my children the best intellectual formation?”
Yes, parents see school tuition as a means of buying friends and social activities for their children, and they’re willing to sacrifice intellectual quality for social activity. There may be no theology studies, no philosophy courses, no classical languages, etc., but if there’s “bread and circuses”, and the kids are kept busy, no one cares.
Social activities should be sought from appropriate sources. The source ignored by most Catholics is the local parish. This is the community with whom we worship and serve God, the community with whom we are supposed to share all things with, the community in which our families grow and live together.
Another source of social activity that is neglected is the family. Historically, children spent time playing and socializing with their own siblings and relatives: brothers, sisters, cousins, etc.. Of all people, Catholic children should have plenty of family-based social activity and, if not, parents need to make efforts to fix that.
Social activities should also be subordinate to priorities in students’ lives. I tell my children to pursue their vocations and trust that God will provide good friends along that path, friends with whom they will share common interests, be able to collaborate with, etc.. Most “friends” made in school end up having little in common with students’ future interests and disappear.
Social activity has to be subjected to work and study. Man is a social animal, but his role in society is to share his goods, not to seek to collect those of others. To borrow JFK’s words, we should not ask what our neighbors can do for us, but what we can do for our neighbors. We should be eager to bless our neighbors with the fruits of our achievements, which need to be earned over time. Time spent studying and working privately is social activity, when we intend to share its fruits with our neighbors.
There are many Catholics today looking for social activity, but few with any wisdom or works to share with others. This is why they struggle to make friends. By focusing on our own private study and work, and seeking social activity through sources outside schooling, we can find meaningful, sustainable social activity.
Most importantly, we must follow Christ as the model of true Christian social life. He did not look at others as sources of benefits that he desired. He lived to do good to others and to take upon himself the burdens others carried. Anyone who imitates Christ in this will have no lack of friends.
Mr. William C. Michael, O.P.
Headmaster
Classical Liberal Arts Academy
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