We live in a generation which complains that children spend time playing video games, posting on social media, sitting around the house, etc. Many families try to correct this by signing kids up to play sports or get involved in other extra-curricular activities. However, the core issue of idleness is not being addressed and children are not living virtuously simply because they are moving around outside. Parents are just substituting one form of leisure for another, quite arbitrarily.
The real challenge is to cultivate the virtue of Justice in our children by motivating them to seek profitable, honest work rather than endless leisure. While responsible leisure is necessary as a means of refreshment (hence the Sabbath commandment), idleness is never good for anyone. Moreover, attempting to keep idle children “busy” gets expensive quickly, which isn’t responsible.
Children need to learn to enjoy working, and it’s not hard to teach them to do so.
First, parents need to stop giving children money. Gifts should be reserved for birthdays, holidays (Christmas and Easter) and special occasions (confirmation, graduation, etc.). Parents are obliged to provide the necessities of life, but not to gratify the desires of their children. If children are given freebies why would they ever wish to work? Parents can, and should, offer a better solution.
Second, parents have to create opportunities for children to earn money. Any benefits can be exchanged for payment, but parents can create work opportunities that are always available. For example, I offer my children hourly pay for weeding the gardens, as often as they wish. My wife offers children payment for help with household chores. When my children desire something, they don’t come and ask me to buy them things; they ask, “Hey Dad, is there anything I can do to earn come money?”. Yes, definitely, always. Rather than asking for free money, children should see work as the means by which they can obtain what they need–and help others at the same time.
Third, parents have to be generous in providing pay for work done by children. Parents should always say “Yes” to requests for opportunities to earn money. There are a number of benefits parents are gaining by this, for which they should pay generously. First, by working children are kept from idleness. Second, children who can earn money won’t steal. Third, tasks are being completed which need to be done/paid for anyway. Fourth, a right relationship is being established between parents and children. Fifth, parents are being freed to do other, more important, tasks, which benefit the whole family.
Another problem will arise, however, which parents need to be ready for. When children work and earn money, children should have the right to spend their earned money on what they wish. That, after all, is what motives them to work. Parents will often get upset when a child earns $100 and then spends it on a pair of basketball sneakers, but it’s the child’s earned money. There are limits, of course, (kids obviously can’t buy guns or drugs) but parents should be careful not to take the joy out of the children’s work. As children mature and gain experience handling money, they will learn to use it more carefully. For example, when I was 12 years old, I spent $130 on a customized skateboard regretted buying it as soon as I got home. I needed no one to teach me to be careful with money after that experience.
Tip: I use the Greenlight app to pay my children amd recommend it. You can easily transfer money from a parent account to children’s debit cards, which can be used in stores or online. Learn more…
Most importantly, though, the goal of our parenting is to help children to learn to use freedom responsibly. Paying children for work and allowing them to manage their earned money is a great means of teaching these important life lessons throughout our children’s years at home.
Mr. William C. Michael, O.P.
Headmaster
Classical Liberal Arts Academy
Enjoy this article? Take a moment and share it with friends.
